(Loki sits at the bar drinking. Tara enters after a moment and sits next to him. She eyes him.)
Tara: Are you a god?
Loki: Yes.
Tara: And you’re not just saying that?
Loki: I am Loki the trickster, the father of lies, and so on.
Tara: (Takes a drink) Great. So you can tell me why you’re all so damn self-righteous. And no lies.
Loki: People keep telling us we’re awesome. It goes to our heads.
Tara: Well, someone should tell you you’re shits every once in a while.
Loki: That’s why I’m here.
Tara: Really? (Loki smiles) Funny.
Loki: Nah, I’m here for the mead.
Tara: Why don’t you just snap your fingers and turn water into mead?
Loki: Doesn’t taste as good. (pause) Does that mean you’ve been hanging around with Jesus?
Tara: I don’t want to talk about Jesus.
Loki: Alright. (pause)
Tara: And you know, I really don’t think I’m asking for too much.
Loki: What are you asking for?
Tara: Just an honest relationship with a god.
Loki: Well it’s not impossible.
Tara: Has been so far.
Loki: Maybe you’re looking in the wrong place. I was with a giantess for a while and it didn’t work out. I mean I liked her, but she’d been raised to believe that gods were lesser beings. Some gods think the same about mortals.
Tara: Not all of them.
Loki: I know. I’m just saying.
Tara: Plus that’s why I quit dating mortals. I figured that if all guys were gonna act superior, I might as well date the ones who actually were.
Loki: But even actual superiority has its downsides. I’m superior, so I know.
Tara: Right.
Loki: Well who have you dated? It might be someone I know.
Tara: I doubt it.
Loki: Try me.
Tara: Well my mom is Greek.
Loki: Aw fuck.
Tara: Yeah. So she had to hook me up with every god she knew. Did you know that Zeus is still married?
Loki: No.
Tara: Neither did I, until the second date. At least he acted like an adult.
Loki: Yeah, ’cause turning into animals is real mature.
Tara: Well compared to Ares it is.
Loki: Ah.
Tara: Mom was all like, “They’re part of your heritage.”
Loki: Sometimes crazy is part of your heritage.
Tara: Yeah.
Loki: Like, I know a god from Nazareth-
Tara: I said I don’t want to talk about Jesus.
Loki: Sorry. (pause)
Tara: You’re right, though. Crazy is part of my heritage. That’s why my dad left.
Loki: ‘Cause he was crazy?
Tara: I was gonna say ’cause my mom was crazy. But thanks.
Loki: No problem. No, I know where you’re coming from. My dad poked his eye out in exchange for wisdom.
Tara: That’s fucked up.
Loki: Yeah. And he says that we’re gonna fight in a big battle at the end of the world. He even knows what order he wants us to die in.
Tara: Wow.
Loki: Yeah.
Tara: Are you gonna do it?
Loki: I dunno.
Tara: Well you’ve probably got millions of years to think about it.
Loki: Well. I don’t have to decide right now, at least.
Tara: That’s rough. But you know, I think that’s part of the problem, that you’re all gonna be there for the final battle or the end of the world or whatever. And we’re supposed to live our little lives and die before the game’s over and be okay with it.
Loki: It means you have freedom, though. You get to choose your little life. Our big lives are preordained.
Tara: No they’re not.
Loki: Everyone expects things of us.
Tara: That’s not fate.
Loki: It’s usually close enough. (pause)
Tara: So are you hanging out here just to mope about the end of the world?
Loki: I told you, I’m here for the mead.
Tara: I don’t believe you.
Loki: Well have you tried their mead?
Tara: It’s good, but it’s not that good. Besides, you just said that Odin was your dad, and he’s totally not.
Loki: Oh fuck you.
Tara: He’s not.
Loki: Who are you, my mother? How would you know?
Tara: I know a thing or two about gods.
Loki: Right, cause you banged the whole Greek pantheon.
Tara: Okay, first off, are you the god of lies or the god of being a dick?
Loki: Yes.
Tara: Second, I dated two Greek gods.
Loki: And one goddess, am I right?
Tara: That was an experiment.
Loki: Not for Artemis it wasn’t.
Tara: Third, you’re not Odin’s son, no matter how much you bitch about it.
Loki: Technically that’s true. For a thousand years we were the same god. The leader of the gods, wise and tricksy, the whole bit. Then some fuckwits in Scandinavia decided that their leader should have a stick up his ass and their trickster should get shat on by a big snake. That’s why I bitch about it.
Tara: ‘Cause you wanted to have the stick up your ass?
Loki: No. Thanks.
Tara: No problem.
Loki: But really, I’d prefer not to have the stick or the snake.
Tara: Don’t blame you.
Loki: But at least I can misbehave. I’m better off than Jesus. (pause) Billion people who all believe he has to be perfect. You know how hard that’s gotta be.
Tara: I can guess. But he couldn’t tell me, because that’d be imperfect.
Loki: Yeah. At least I can bitch about it when my dad-self tries to kill me.
Tara: I just – I want to help him. He’s got all this stuff he says he has to do, has to be perfect and forgive everyone, and then his people go around wearing little pictures of his dead body or blaming him for the stupid shit that they do. And he never gets anything for himself.
Loki: You can’t force him to get anything for himself, though. He has to want to change.
Tara: How can he not?
Loki: Maybe that’s what he wants to be.
Tara: But it’s not fair. Shouldn’t he get saved sometimes too?
Loki: If he wants. But he doesn’t. You can’t save everyone. Sometimes you have to just save yourself.
Tara: That’s hard.
Loki: Tell me about it. (pause)
Tara: Is there a chance for me?
Loki: Things will work out for you. I can tell.
Tara: Really? (Loki smiles) Funny.
Loki: You’ve got a shot. It’s more than I can say for most people.
Tara: Good to know. (pause) What about you?
Loki: What about me?
Tara: Is there a chance for you?
Loki: I don’t think so. You’re mortal, so you can do whatever, but I’ve got thousands of years of fate pushing me forward. There’s no way around that.
Tara: Liar.
Loki: Seriously.
Tara: No. You’re a trickster. And if you were Odin once, you’re as clever as he is. I think you’ve got something up your sleeve.
Loki: Ragnarok has been preordained since time immemorial. It’s unavoidable.
Tara: Really? (Loki smiles) That’s what I thought.
Loki: Just between us.
Tara: Of course. Thanks for the mead.
Loki: No problem. Thanks for letting me tell the truth for once.
Tara: No problem.
